Here is what you don’t need to know about me in order to understand or appreciate this blog, but likely want to know, any way: I am in my early 40s and am happily single and child-free. I am an educator and traveler. I am a writer and a thinker. I am a former Christian, an active Nichiren Buddhist and a passive atheist (with an agnostic-leaning perspective). I am Black. I love food; it is my true religion. Above all, I am a global citizen. I am originally from the United States of America, having grown up in New Orleans and lived the majority of my adult life in New York City. I currently live in Rwanda in East Africa, but have traveled to countless countries within this continent and beyond.
Here is what you definitely need to know to fully appreciate this blog and understand the context from which many, if not all, my posts originate: I do not understand and am often insulted by the portrayal of the “single woman” in 21st century popular culture. The 21st century single woman seems to stubbornly live on either side of a narrow continuum. Either she is secretly miserable, merely tolerating her solitude until she is cured from this illness of non-marriage by a nice man who is willing to put a ring on it and a fetus in it OR she is a 30something teenager whose expendable income is spent on a litany of superficial luxuries and for whom the next toe-curling orgasm is akin to winning the ring from the brother with the advanced degree and six figure salary.
One of my favorite writers, Junot Diaz, has said: “We have a hard time seeing women as full humans, which results in the world at large diminishing their humanity.”
It is from this Diaz insight that I chronicle my journey as a fully realized human being who honors the women who see themselves as MORE than potential mothers and wives-in-waiting. Women who nurture, love and live in many different neighborhoods, refusing to restrain their existence to the ghettos that the world still builds around them almost a quarter of the way into the 21st century.